It can be challenging to know how much a woman loves you, or indeed, if she does at all! Various reasons may keep her in the relationship, other than love. For example, she may feel deterred from being on her own, or she is worried about her age, and is therefore protecting her chances to have children whilst looking out for someone “more appealing” to enter her life.

You therefore need to be smart and use your instincts combined with the knowledge of the key signs below which prove that she really does love you.

Your happiness matters to her

Happiness is essential in any successful relationship, and a woman who loves you will make sacrifices to ensure you are happy. She will prioritise your joy because she sees a future with you. If her efforts on delighting you are consistent, they will be an indication of her sincere intentions. These intentions may further be cemented by her interest in topics that are important to you, but which are not of any significance to her.

She believes in your betterment

A woman who loves you would like to see you continually strive to advance yourself, as she similarly expects of herself. This is because she knows that her reputation would reflect highly if you presented and functioned at your best. She encourages and assists you in every way she can to help you reach your greatest potential.

She is open and her trust is in you

Over time, the right woman will be confident to trust in you with the knowledge of personal and delicate issues that are important to her. If this does not occur, and you sense that she is guarded or secretive, then she is probably not thinking about you as a future partner. When you have her trust, she shares everything with you, including her joys, sorrows and secrets. She thinks of you as a worthwhile companion whose life can be combined with hers, and does not see why you should not know all there is to her. She lets you in on her needs, wants and desires.

She celebrates relationship steps

Relationship milestones are celebrated when two people have a healthy and meaningful connection. If she loves you, she will recognise your one month, six month or annual anniversary, and she will celebrate other events like Valentine’s Day and your birthday. You will likely receive a thoughtful gesture or romantic gift on many such occasions, as she doesn’t tire of celebrating your lives together.

She consults you on important decisions

Women often focus on significant aspects of life such as career, hobbies or finances. If any of these aspects require a substantial change or some conclusion to be drawn, she will consult with you because your opinions and thoughts matter. She will discuss with you before accepting a new job, and will reject any offers that might strain or jeopardise the relationship (eg, relocation, extended hours). In essence, you will notice that she is easily influenced by what you think and feel.

She includes you in her family occasions

Your woman will arrange for you to meet the people she loves and cares about. She will involve you in family functions and other significant events. You will promptly be introduced to the parents, siblings and friends. She is proud of your relationship and thrills in you being present around her as much as possible in the company of others.

She expresses her love unrestrictedly

It may take some time for a woman to fully engage in the relationship, but when she feels secure enough to know that you are truly committed to her, she will be readily affectionate and romantic, and will demonstrate these behavioural signs in front of others. You will undoubtedly know that she has elected you as the man of her life.

She agrees to move in with you and seeks out exclusive time for you both

A woman who loves you is not content when having to spend large amounts of time apart from you (and this will include a night apart). She will be looking for ways for the two of you to occupy time together and build your relationship. She will agree to live with you upon the initial discussion of moving in together, and will not make up excuses to delay the progression of the relationship. You will more often than not be invited to participate in many social and other activities with her, and her friends will soon become your friends.

She plans her holidays around you

Her holidays and plans to travel will no longer be hers alone. If your annual working schedule clashes with hers in regards to holidays and time off, she will be swayed to modify her plans so that the two of you can travel together.

She discusses wedding specifics

If the woman in your life happens to value the institution of marriage, she will be keen to talk about her ideal wedding with you if she considers you a long-term partner. She may discuss the type of wedding she would like, her preferred colours, the location etc., even if the two of you are not engaged.

She expresses a desire to have children

The woman who loves you will talk about the family she would like to have, such as the number of children and their sex. She will also be curious to know about your views on the matter, and explore how keen you are to have children. By exploring your views on having your own family, she is hoping to establish your intents on committing to her.

In conclusion

If you discover after reading many of these key points that the woman in your life does not seem to genuinely love you or want to be with you in the long haul, then you need to ask yourself why you choose to be with someone who may not be treating you in the way you deserve. Do you find that you seem to keep attracting women into your life who never quite make you feel special enough? If you have any doubts about your capacity to find a truly meaningful and loving relationship that is based on mutual respect and admiration, you may want to read my article here on the topic of why your relationships appear to continuously fail, and what you can do to break the cycle of becoming involved in unhealthy relationships.


I would love to hear your comments or answer any questions you might have about this post.

Yours sincerely,   

Dr. Carissa Coulston, Clinical Psychologist

BSc(Hons), MPsychol(Clinical), PhD, MAPS