When it comes to finding your soul mate, you might feel as though you could look forever without ever finding them. Without a doubt, it takes some time to find such a person. If you're lucky, you will find that special someone sooner rather than later. If you're even luckier still, you will understand how vitally important it is that you do everything in your power to hold on to that person and never let them go.

Typically, there are some personal qualities that will help you discover whether or not you have found that person who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Continue reading to learn about 12 of the most important qualities that will ensure a life of fulfilment.

1)    Emotional intelligence

You want to be with someone who is emotionally intelligent. The last thing you need is to spend your entire life with an individual who has no idea what you are all about, or what matters to you. When you're with someone who is emotionally intelligent, they not only understand your world, but they can open you up to an entire world that you've never experienced before. When this happens, the two of you together can become amazing.

2)    Physical appeal

Physical appeal is definitely subjective. The very thing that exemplifies appeal to one person may not attract another person at all. This is one of the wondrous observations that fuels the existence of the universe. People from all walks of life have the opportunity to find their soul mate, and the qualities that make that individual perfect for one person may not necessarily appeal to someone else. So if you are attracted to someone, they're beautiful as far as you are concerned. That is the only thing that matters.

3)    A kind heart

You want someone who is as kind as they are beautiful. Let's face it, no one wants to spend their time hanging out with someone who is unkind or unpleasant to others, makes mean comments, or walks around grumbling about something all the time. What you do indeed want is to be around an individual who genuinely cares about your feelings, about the feelings of others, and about life in general. When you are with a person like this, it can easily bring out the best in you. As a result, you just might find a kinder, gentler side of yourself in the process.

4)    Energy

There is something about being around an individual who has a special zest for life. These types of people are fun to be around. They encourage you to be more interested in practically everything that you do, and discover new interests. In fact, being around a person like this can help you find that spark or passion in anything new, or in something that you might have given up on years ago. This person guides you to gain a new perspective on life, and embrace it with your entire being.

5)    Love

Love is really about so much more than just admiring another person. When you really love someone, you feel incomplete when they're not around. You are so much more at ease when they are in your presence. After a while, any tendencies towards miscommunication become increasingly less likely, and you can literally even complete each other's thoughts, and/or automatically know how the other person feels about practically everything. This is when you truly know that you've found your soul mate.

6)    Compromise

Everyone who is in a relationship has to learn how to compromise. There is simply no way to be involved in a relationship of any kind with another person, and get your way most of the time. When you are with the right person, compromise does not seem like such a bad thing. In fact, compromise comes so naturally to you, because the two of you operate in harmony with little effort. There is an even balance in how often you each give way to one another on various issues, and you never really mind to practise this quality, because you are doing it for someone who you love.

7)    Real chemistry

Sometimes you are with a person and you just don't feel a connection. Other times, you meet someone and the connection is almost instantaneous. Over time, the latter situation grows even stronger until you feel like that individual has become an extension of who you are. When you both feel this way, you know that you have the right kind of chemistry to make a relationship last for as long as you both are alive. That is one of the great things about finding your soul mate. It truly has the power to change every aspect of your life in the most positive way possible.

8)    Honesty

Of course, you want honesty in a relationship. However, the need to exercise this is sometimes easier said than done. In a lot of relationships, people tell little white lies to keep from hurting the feelings of one another. When you find that special someone, you find a person who is willing to tell you the truth, even when it might be the last thing that you want to hear. They do this because they care about you, and they endeavour to help you improve in every way possible. More importantly, you can count on them to give you a solid dose of reality, or even to tell you that you made a mistake, in a manner that is so gentle and respectful, that there is a minimised chance of you feeling offended, belittled, or undermined. It also makes it much easier for you to listen to the advice that they have to dispense.

9)    Independence

Everyone wants to be needed, but no one wants to be needed every second of every day. Your soul mate will have the independence that is necessary to do things on their own and to be their own person even when they're not with you. This allows you to do the same thing. This means that the two of you can have an excellent life together, while simultaneously maintaining your own unique personalities. Furthermore, you do not always have to do everything together because you trust each other enough to allow one another the freedom to live independent lives. This makes your relationship that much richer.

10) Passion

The passion in your love life is great, but it is not the only place in which your partner experiences or expresses it. Whether it is about a place, an activity, or about a certain cause, your perfect partner will exhibit passion for all things that are important to them. Before you know it, you'll probably be sharing some of those same passions with them, and your horizons will thereby continue to expand.  

11) Drive

Under most circumstances, your partner will be driven about the things that he or she is passionate about. It will even motivate you to have more drive to accomplish the things you've always dreamed of doing. If there is something that you decided to put off in the past because you were afraid of failure, or you thought you didn't have the time to invest in it, your partner's drive in life might just compel you to re-visit that cause.

12) Mutual feelings

When you have a soul mate, you share so many things together that you are able to sense how the other person feels about most things. You care so much about one another that you go out of your way to express your concern over the big things and the little things. Eventually, you start to feel the same way about many of the matters that you deal with in life.

In conclusion

Finding your soul mate can change your life, to say the least. It can elevate you to experience entirely different feelings that you never even knew you were capable of having. More importantly, it can help you achieve all the things that you've ever wanted to do in life, and life in all respects is fulfilling.

So now that you have found your ideal partner, you should become well equipped with ideas on how to treat them when a special occasion comes along, such as Valentine’s Day, your anniversary, or their birthday. You can check out my article here, which offers some romantic gift ideas to cherish your loved one.

I would love to hear your comments or answer any questions you might have about this post.

Yours sincerely,   


Dr. Carissa Coulston, Clinical Psychologist

BSc(Hons), MPsychol(Clinical), PhD, MAPS