Valentine’s Day: The Difference Between Fleeting Romance and Lasting Love
Valentine’s Day is widely associated with passion, excitement and grand gestures. Yet for many couples, it quietly raises a deeper question:
Are we building something that lasts - or are we simply chasing the feeling of romance?
Understanding the difference between fleeting romance and lasting love can completely change how this day is experienced.
The Psychology of Fleeting Romance
Fleeting romance is driven by dopamine, the brain’s reward chemical. Dopamine fuels attraction, excitement and anticipation. It thrives on novelty, emotional intensity and the thrill of the new.
This phase of love feels intoxicating, but it is biologically temporary. As familiarity grows, dopamine naturally settles. Many people misinterpret this shift as a loss of love, when in fact the nervous system is transitioning towards a deeper and more stable form of connection.
The Foundation of Lasting Love
Lasting love is governed by oxytocin, the hormone responsible for bonding, trust and emotional safety. It grows through consistency, reliability, emotional presence and genuine care.
Lasting love offers:
- Emotional security
- Deep trust
- A sense of belonging
- Stability through life’s challenges
This is the form of love that sustains long-term relationships.
Why Valentine’s Day Often Feels Disappointing
Valentine’s culture strongly promotes performance romance - extravagant gifts, dramatic surprises and picture-perfect moments. But the nervous system does not equate performance with connection.
What people are actually seeking is:
- To feel chosen
When those needs are unmet, even the most impressive gestures can feel hollow.
Why Meaningful Valentine’s Gifts Matter
Objects carry emotional meaning. When a gift symbolises permanence and continuity, the brain interprets it as commitment and care.
This is why meaningful Valentine’s gifts - especially timeless gifts such as an Eternity Rose which is a preserved rose - hold such powerful emotional value. Unlike ordinary flowers that fade within days, preserved roses remain, quietly reinforcing the message:
This love is not fleeting.
The physical endurance of the gift mirrors emotional intention.
Reframing Valentine’s Day for Deeper Connection
Rather than asking How impressive should this be?, a more important question becomes:
How connected do we want to feel?
Lasting love grows through:
- Emotional presence
- Honest communication
- Repair after conflict
- Consistent care
When these foundations are strong, Valentine’s Day becomes less about proving love and more about celebrating it.
Love That Endures
True romance is not built on constant excitement.
It is built on choosing each other again and again, in quiet and enduring ways.
That is the kind of love worth honouring.